Runescape Runaround 5 Hell
by Lord Zurtok
Summary: Title says it all. It's where I have landed...


Runescape Runaround

Hell

The shortcut Giblet had referred to was a small cliff. I could easily climb down it; or so I thought. The soil around the cliff was more fragile than I thought. I went splat as I landed at the bottom. Many other members were running about fishing, chasing fishing spots, and doing whatever. I was content to lay there in pain.

Giblet leapt down on top of me. "I told you not to go that way."

"Get off me, chowderbrain."

"Now, there is a fishing supply store over there. Owner's a guy by the name of Harry."

"Aren't you being a bit presumptutious? You presume I want to go fishing."

Giblet shrugged. "You need a weapon and have no money, correct?"

I begrudgingly walked into the fishing store. The first thing I noticed were the fish tanks with many small fish swimming about. I bought a new lobster cage and harpoon.

"There, now I can catch you some food."

"No thanks. *burp* I just ate."

Thankfully, Harry never noticed his fish tanks were now empty. "Wonderful, Giblet." As I left the shop a black cat appeared before me. "Well if isn't Bob the Runescape cat." I reached out to pet him.

"NOOOOOO!" Giblet screamed.

"No, what? Nooooooooo!" It was too late. I was yanked from Runescape.

When I became aware of my surroundings again the cat was lying in the sand softly drumming his tail. A solitary human female was nearby.

"You! I don't care who you are nor where I am nor why I was brought here; I demand you send me back to where I came from."

"Hee hee hee heh."

I turned to see the cat had a large grin on his face. "Welcome to Scaperune."

"Scaperune, huh? How about I break you in half?"

"You are welcome to try. However, as I am the only conduit to Runescape I recommend against it. Besides, you cannot hurt me."

"Aw, screw it."

"Now bring me some fish, slave."

What could I do? I went to the shore where I conveniently found a small net. I fished around and caught…what the hell is this thing furthermore why is it cooked? I presented this to the cat.

"You expect me to eat that cooked? Uncook it!"

"Just how the hell am I supposed to do that?" The cat grunted and pointed to the uncooking pot. "You gotta be kidding me." I dumped the…thing into the pot and by gosh it became raw again. I did not think it was possible for it to get more repulsive but damned if it didn't. All I could do was stare at it.

"Well, bring it here!" The cat demanded.

"I am NOT touching that thing! Get it yourself!"

"Bring it to me now!"

"No freaking way!" I took the entire pot and dumped it in front the cat.

"Are you happy now?" I watched as the cat devoured the thing and nearly shouted groceries.

I noticed the portal the cat was guarding. I recalled him saying he was my only connection to Runescape. This had to mean his life force was keeping it open. Why didn't I realize this in the first place?

"Yech! This is terrible!" The cat said.

"I'm not surprised."

"Try again!"

"I assume that portal stays open whether or not you are conscious. Lights out, you hairball!" I knocked the cat out with the uncooking pot and was oh so very tempted to snap his neck.

I turned to the servant. "This is your chance, run while you can."

"But my life is here in Scaperune and the master needs me."

"Oh, sweetie, I am afraid your "master" has an appointment with reality. You are the master now. Tatty-bye." With that I stuffed the cat into my pack and stepped through portal.

Meanwhile…

Giblet was lying on the path in front of the fishing shop bemoaning the harsh ways of this cruel world.

"My poor master, what has happened to him? What will I do for food?" I started to reappear on top of him. "What am I laying around here for!"

I reappeared just missing Giblet's tail. "That felt so good!" I shouted drawing the attention of everyone in the area. I slunk behind the fishing shop in embarrassment. I let out a sigh of relief. "OOF!" At that moment Giblet tackled me in excitement causing me to drop my pack.

"Master! Master! I thought I'd never see you again!" He began licking my face with a tongue that felt rougher than the rag I tried to wash Delrith with. My nose was filed down slightly before I managed to stop him. "How did you escape?" It was then he saw my pack moving. I kicked it hard and it stopped moving…..for the moment. "Master, what was that?"

"What was what?" I stroked Giblet's fur.

"I saw your pack moving. I now know what that odd scent is. You've got Evil Bob in there don't you?"

"Shhh, not so loud if this gets out we'll be torn to pieces by people wanting revenge."

"Oh, please, how could this get out?" Giblet's ears perked up. "Scratch that. Got any teleport runes on you, master?"

"Only a house teleport on me, why?"

Giblet pointed to the mob running towards us. I grabbed my pack and cast the teleport spell. Upon landing I sealed the portal.

"You forgot people have cat speak amulets."

"F


End file.
